30 ways in 30 days and still going strong....

After having a very cool  conversation with my roommate this morning, I reread the list of ideas that friends have given me, and although I did not complete the 30 things in 30 days, I am still adding to my list.

Today someone asked me to donate some photos I have been taking recently for a silent auction that is part of an incredible event that she has created called Surviving & Thriving...remember that name as I am sure it will be something that become commonplace.  So today I am adding # 26 to take more photos, and to donate as many photos for this event as wanted....

I also found another woman willing to give the gift of sponsorship to a woman from a war torn country, bringing the total to 16 people that have pledged to make a real difference in someone's life. :-)



30 Ways in 30 Days:

1. To try and get 30 sponsors for 30 women - right now there are 9 of us!
2. Leslie C. has asked me to create a Blog - its not fancy but here it is :-)
3. Saskia has challenged me to 30 days of NO complaining, she has kindly offered to do the same and each time one of us complains we are going to donate $1 to Women for Women - I have a feeling they are going to be receiving a nice donation at the end of those 30 days!
4. Jen H. suggested an "honesty journal' of sorts- of the top 10 situations that (pissed/still) PISS YOU OFF. Meaning... take the top 10 things people have done/have happened to you, and write HONESTLY about your role in it. Not in a judgmental way, in an honest way. Seeing it from the other side, as much as possible, whether or not you agree with 'that' view. Then write letters to the other people involved in each case (that you won't send) expressing your new insights". (Jennifer S. is sharing this with me).
5. Chris M. would like me to go Vegan for 30 days - which I have tried before and I can't make it without a little 'real' protein, so am giving up dairy, red meat, chicken, the other white meat - sorry Moulson!
6. & 7. My dear friend Ida would like me to buy a homeless person lunch and then eat it with them, she also wants me to hang out with the elderly for a day - she didn't specify where but I am sure I can be creative.
8. Jill D. who would really like the credit for being the first to respond, sorry I should have made you NUMBER 1, would like us to start a website or something and get people to go daily to either write out a fear/anxiety to help them deal with it, or to write out how they are living in the present. (Jennifer S. also wants to do this - Jen/Jill we can dedicated a day to this? or start another blog?!)
9. Dr. Rayner would like me to volunteer in a pediatric unit and I quote " spreading [my] infectious enthusiasm to the children" [picture rolling of my eyes] - I received the volunteer application for the Ronald McDonald House of NYC which supports families struggling with their child's cancer diagnosis - I have been asked to teach yoga.

10. My sister, Christina Herrero, wants me to look into being a marrow donor since they won't take my blood due to my sordid travels...little scary but a good and necessary cause...other suggestions are to do something to do with Muscular Dystrophy, a personal cause for us or volunteer at advocacy in action - as soon as she can decide I am on it!

11. Deb Hand - donate old coats to the NYC coat drive and/or clothes to a shelter.

12. Deb Hand - to buy someone that looks less fortunate a cup of coffee or lunch - today I bought someone a snapple ice tea (their request) and it really felt good...which has lead me to my own 13th challenge.

13. Me - I would like to pick someone that looks like they are having a rough day, and anonymously pay for their lunch...in NYC I realize that this could lead me to being locked up!

14. Starting in January (as it is closed until then) I am spending one night a month in a church - yes you heard me Townley Peters is sleeping in a church voluntarily eeek! The church takes in 10 homeless women a night between 8:30 and 9pm and provides them with a bed, fresh linens, and some company and then wakes them up at 5:30 with coffee in time to get ready for their pick up...tentatively have an interested partner in crime.

15. My Mother - Get over your fear of teaching yoga (have to say I was waiting for this one!!)

16. Caroline C (inspired by Women for Women Website) - Make a success list of all the things you are successful at, going back as far as you want. (For those of you that know me this is probably going to be the hardest for me...)

17. Jennifer S - "Now I have a challenge for you!! for the next 30 days (or however many is left in your personal challenge) accept compliments as they are meant. We may see in you things that you have not yet realized! Don't diminish a compliment - accept it in the spirit it was given and embrace that you mean THAT much to people and CAN inspire them!"

18. Jennifer L - Meet someone new each day for the rest of the month.

19. Annette C. - So, my challenge is inspired by 29 Gifts: how a month of giving can change your life by Cami Walker. http://www.29gifts.org/

I challenge you to do the gifts from now until your birthday. The gifts can be anything you choose - a smile, a compliment, accepting a compliment (yes, I read your other challenges...), a cup of coffee for a frazzled friend, a loaf of bread and jar of peanut butter to someone who needs it, a hug, a subway token, holding the door open, etc. Don't worry you won't be alone I have will challenge my student's to do the same for a day.

20. Saskia & Luke - Luke had a peak at your blog yesterday and reckons you have too many serious challenges so he wants to throw in a fun / crazy / adrenaline related one....:He's offering you a choice of whichever you have NOT done or whichever scares you most: Bungee jump or Paint balling with a group of guys you don't know...

21. Jen L - I challenge you to get up every day and tell your mirror self something positive about YOU - whether its a funny freckle you like on your bum, or that you are a really good yogi.

22. Corey M - Write one paragraph that will be in your book ... oh, if you all only knew he he

23. Gernot - Maybe you can volunteer-teach at a shelter or a center for troubled youth? Didn't we see a movie (we trained in Thailand together) that featured a center in NYC that taught yoga to youth out of prison? Two classes a week for 15 or 30 weeks?

24. Christine S.- "This 30th year follow your dreams and make your education/career goals a priority. Make a decision about school and stick to it! You

need to finally think about you".

25. Jean Marie - How about vowing to meditate every day for at least 15 minutes?? 

26. S&C - Donate some of your photos to the Surviving and Thriving event, on 10/28/10.

Angels

Today my heart is aching for my friend Melissa and her little guy Jensen (and their family).  Jensen was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma in 2007.  When I was in New York in 2009 I met Melissa by chance when she and Jensen were in town for a regular check up that found he had relapsed with a brain tumor.  This amazing little angel should be starting kindergarden, playing with friends, and starting his beautiful life and yet he has spent more time than any child should in and out of the hospital, undergoing procedures that I cannot even get my head around.  His ongoing spirit despite everything, and his fight have left me speechless, in awe and humbled. 

This past August Jensen relapsed a 3rd time in his liver, lung and chest.

Melissa is one of the most amazing, beautiful, inspiring women I have ever met and my heart aches for the pain and devastation she and her family are feeling right now.  Please take a moment to keep them in your thoughts/prayers.  Situations like this remind me how important it is to say 'I love you' as often as possible but they also cause me to question why things like this happen to good people - I search for an explanation that I know does not exist.

Remember how short life really is, and how we are just passing through. So, all the people you haven't told you love lately, tell them, and live your days like you mean it.

Cali Girls - Fine, Fresh, Fierce

8 days in and I already have soo many things to say about SF!

From the minute we landed it's been an adventure.  We finally landed after circling Nevada for > 45 mins (due to the fog that is ALWAYS lingering over SF, before the captain came over the intercom to let us know that we were low on fuel and would have to land in San Jose to refuel before we could proceed onto SF).  Now.  If you know the area, you would know that San Jose is less than a 12 minute flight from SF...

Welcome to the city whose coldest winter is knows as summertime!  But do not fret!  After the chills of August the heat of Sept/Oct appears before cooling off again!  I swear I have never stripped off and then froze as many times as a day as one does in this city - Rule of thumb, wear layers!!!

You can imagine my genuine delight when I found out that I live in the Asian-Irish area - lol!  No disrespect, but how cool and messed up is that!!  Of course I feel totally at home, and am loving it.  Great food and hot accents ;-) 

Then there is the new roommate - love her!  Literally adore the little sassy ass!! And I am allowed to call her "little" seeing as though I have to squat to get my head underneath the shower head! 

Two days after arriving here, she leaves me for the warmth of So Cal, and I am on kitty patrol.  This results in my taking Pino (her ex-roomie's kitty that we are loving while mom is in Aussie land, the other kitty being Margarita) to the vet for a lump I found on her side.  Surgery, a cone around her head, antibiotics, pain meds that cause diarrhea, and hot compresses 2x a day, fill my next few days (had to laugh when the vet called me one day asking for my DOB, state requirement as pain meds are a controlled substance - NO, I am not planning on taking the cats meds!!!).  Mom leaves, roomie - Steph, returns and it is a whirlwind of plans, drinks, fish tacos and getting to know each other on the beach while watching the sun set (obviously with a bottle of wine in tow).  This girl is literally going to be the end of me!  I haven't even started school and we are already talking surf trips in santa Cruz, Bali, Costa Rica, Mexico (and no, can't say the hobo that I am is fighting her much, just trying to figure out how to finance it all)...and no I haven't been on a surfboard in over 6 years but she is willing to teach me (read between the lines - the sadistic little one wants to laugh her butt off as I don a thick wetsuit, hat and booties to just be able to enter the water...).  She is an amazing woman though, and I know I have a lot to learn from her - her passion about life may be dangerous (in a good way :-) ) but it is also really inspiring! Heck, she has already adapted to my inability to form an articulate sentence before I have had a cup of coffee in the morning, and she doesn't look twice when I drive down a one-way street the wrong way - let alone what happens when the SF trolley's come into play!!

School starts in just over a week and although I am excited - I just got an email that requires we bring something representative of our 'culture' for a "Show and Tell" during orientation - not psyched to say the least!  How does one explain that a bottle of rum is basically our local icon to a bunch of doctoral students?!?! 



Despite missing all of you that are spread around the world, I am excited for the adventures ahead - immediately this includes a night at "Riptide" the local dive bar, wetsuit shopping (SEXY!!) tomorrow and sailing in a snowsuit - at least for me!

More stories to come.... XOX

It's been a really long time since I last posted anything.  Maybe I have been too busy living, or maybe I just didn't have anything I felt worth sharing, I don't know for sure.  But when I signed on I reflected over some of my older posts - I've been on some pretty amazing adventures!  Maybe it's fitting then that I am inspired to write on the cusp of my next big adventure... a clinical doctorate program in a city I haven't visited in almost 10 years.  Yes, I still jump in with my whole heart and with my feet first!!

I googled "Golden Gate Bridge" and ironically this is the image that appeared...this is how the beginning of my next adventure feels.  Exciting, terrifying, just out of reach (for now), colorful....

In 23 days, I fear my days of sleeping in will come to an end for the next 20 years or so due to school and the possibility of having little people. 
In 23 days I am going to remember what pulling a sober all nighter feels like.
In 23 days I am rooting in a new city for possibly longer than I have stayed anywhere since I was last in school.
In 23 days I will be in debt.
In 23 days I will be living in an apt on the beach with someone who is soon to become a lifelong friend as well as my surfing instructor - thank God she thinks road trips to S.D. are fun!!

In 23 days the real adventure begins...

Original Crown and Anchor Tees debut for Cup Match 2010

Cup Match 2010 is soon upon us and it's time to start planning. Ladies paint those toes, guys get your ribbons and this year the color coordination is done for you... Limited edition inaugural tees. Which color are you?    Preorder NOW (email townleypeters79@gmail.com or send me a F.B message) or find us on game days at the match.You can also pick them up at East End Flower Alley located in King's square,  St G's.   Sizes run from small to XXL. $30 a shirt, $50 for 2.  Show your true Colors and get them before they're gone!!!

Island Nights

Once again the vultures are hungry.  But alas, one has to get through the optional 90 minute yoga class and/or evening massage before dinner is served - plate-by-plate.  Kimberly sits waiting for her yoga students in a beautiful studio.  Overlooking the ocean, the studio will soon be illuminated solely by the sky that is bursting at the seams with stars.  One-by-one exhausted, hungry yogis take a seat on their mats, following the instruction to close their eyes and being turning their attention inside, class begins.  90 minutes later the same yogis emerge, completely serene and with a hint of a smile on their faces - a familiar look for anyone that has had the luck of studying with Kimberly.  One of the English gals who had been studying Iyengar yoga for the past three years and who has suffered debilitating wrist and neck pain, slides into her seat next to me at dinner with palpable excitement - "I did my first handstand!" she exclaims much in the same manner my 4 year-old nephew relays a story of one of his latest conquests!   Kimberly might be one of the most talented yoga teachers I have had the privilege to study with to date.  An encyclopedic knowledge of anatomy, a steady but firm voice, and a healthy sense of humor Kim is able to elicit things from you that you either didn't know you were capable of or that you didn't even know you knew.

"It's official SHER-lee and I are dating!" Kristina, Kimberly's childhood friend comments as she slides into the seat on my other side.  SHER-lee (actually Shirley but pronounced with a Brazilian accent it morphs into SER-lee for the international guests) is the resident masseuse that speaks no English and has a reputation that precedes her.  After beckoning Kristina into the massage room, where two ladies are already mid-massage, SHER-lee uses sign language to inform Kristina that it is time to 'drop trou' here in the middle of a room with five other people.  Hesitant but more in need of a massage Kristina disrobes and takes her place on the table.   From here, Kristina face contorted in a look of total befuddlement, relays how SHER-lee used a rather unique assortment of massage techniques that fell somewhere between feeling like 1000 tiny ants were crawling over your body, to great sweeping strokes, to feeling her blow on your palms, neck and bottom!  "If nothing else" Kristina exclaims, "she is thorough, she didn't miss a spot!  What do you suspect blowing on one's bottom is suppose to do?"  By this point I have tears streaming down my face as the English girl whose initial glee at her first yoga inversion,  is rapidly replaced by utter horror...her massage is next!

Dinner today is another classic Brazilian dish - Moqueca or seafood stew.  Adriana has adapted the stew to make it 'more fitting' for our present needs (dietary detoxification!), she has substituted water for the fatty coconut milk and is using a lighter oil than the one that dish typically calls for.  Despite the modifications or maybe in spite of them, it is delicious!  And even though the portions are still smaller than most would like, and there is no dessert to follow, everyone seems happy.

After dinner there are optional activities for those who can fight off the sleep that comes calling after such an active day for a little longer.  One night there is a capoeira lesson ( a Afro-Brazilian art form that combines elements of martial arts, dance and music) followed by a professional demonstration.  Other nights there are demonstrations of typical Brazilian dances including the Samba, and Forro, which causes one guest to begin a running commentary.  "Oooooh my! Look at her little bum.  Look at how they move their hips!  It's quite saucey isn't it?  Bit like foreplay!  I am embarrassed to watch but I absolutely can't stop watching them...how come we can't move like that?"  Again tears begin streaming down my cheeks - not just for her commentary which does strike me as funny but more because she is English and after having lived in London for many years, I am all to aware of the way the Brits try and move it on the dance floor.  This image strikes me as even funnier and now it is all I can do to contain myself.

When I am finally able to regain control of myself, it is time to make the starlit trek back to our seaside bungalows.  Crawling under my mosquito net, which Cece has decided makes our beds fit for princesses, I slip into a deep sleep as I begin dreaming about my return to the island...

Noon Times

Its creeping up to lunchtime and the open air dining room, over looking the ocean, is filled with women circling the table like vultures.  5 hours since breakfast is a long time when your free hours are all active and portion sizes are determined by the lithe Adrianna - the resident nutritionist at the posada.  To make matters worse, the food seems to appear plate by plate and by American standards, the portions leave many hungry for more. Today is a quinoa (a high protein grain similar to couscous) salad mixed with fresh herbs and vegetables but to some 'it even tastes healthy" and therefore is deemed unappetizing!  Our afternoon hikes provide plenty of time for reminiscing about contraband - steak dinners with red wine, coffee, biscuits, caipirinhas (admittedly there is something slightly unfair about lounging in your hammock, watching the sunset over the ocean without one of the countries favorite treats), but to me the food is all part of this island experience.

Being on the island is a reminder of the simplicity that is possible in each moment.  The food is pure and simple.  There are no TV's, computers or phones - we will actually be forced to have conversations with each other or God forbid read a book!  (Although even that may become a past time as there are a few with kindles at the ready).  Perfect Chaos.  That is how I would describe this landscape we find ourselves in.  To many of us modern people, the simplicity of the island leaves one baffled, yet somehow despite the lack of modern technology everything works.  There also seems to be something completely ironic about seeing chickens on the beaches and squirrels in the amazon but again it just works.

I have to admit that I could have done without the giant banana spiders that leisurely hang out in their 'guitar string' webs that all seem to be conveniently located at eye level.  I discreetly fall back into stride behind one of the German girls, whose almost 6 feet, trumps my 5'10 knowing that if she clears the webs I will be safe too!  When Bobby, one of our two local guides, catches onto my love of spiders he reassuringly informs me that if bitten the spiders, although poisonous, won't kill me.  Great, I am sooo much better now!  A breath later Danielle, more commonly known by the locals as 'The Rasta', adds his little tidbit...there are three kinds of snakes found on the island, only two of which are poisonous to humans.  I am again put to ease as I learn that the poisons snakes can only strike at a distance half of their whole body length.  Fantastic!!  I guess the real question is which do you fear most - the creatures lurking over head, or the ones underfoot?  Either way, its a unique lesson in how to stay focused on the present moment!

Two hikes in particular take my breath away.  The first is to Lopez Mendez voted one of the top beaches in the world.  As someone that has been referred to as a 'beach snob' (after growing up in Bermuda with pink sandy beaches and clear blue water, there are many a beaches I have been taken to with promises of paradise, that have left me wondering where some people got their definitions of paradise), Lopes Mendes lives up to its reputation.  Two miles of unadulterated white sand that squeaks underfoot.  Crystal clear water, ever so often interrupted by a perfectly designed sand bank.  A curtain of palm trees drawn along the perimeter of the beach, blocking out the outside world so one actually feels as if they have reached the mythical 'beach'.  The beauty of this beach cannot be overstated.
There are quicker ways to get to this island paradise, such as taking a water taxi from nearby Manges Beach, but we are here to detox and get in shape so after 5 hours of intense hiking the first glimpse of Lopez Mendez must be similar to the experience of a lost desert wander that sees an ocean mirage.  To keep up the morale of the less active members of the group there is a surprise stop.  About 90 minutes into the hike we come across an old rickety restaurant.  As we collapse one-by-one onto the benches hand-painted with miniature strawberries, Danielle surprises everyone by handing out menus - maybe the days of contraband are over.   Or are they?  Just as quickly as we receive the menus, we also receive commands to only look at the bottom half of the menu - the fruit smoothies.  If it wasn't bad enough that the smoothies are listed under the alcoholic beverages and pub fare, Danielle adds that we can order any smoothie EXCEPT the ones containing milk or sugar...

The second, is the hike to the Parrots' Peak, the highest point on the island - or as some have called it the 'top of the world'.  On a good day, you can see 360 degrees around the island and even to a few landmarks in Rio.  On this particular day only 2 out of 12 of us choose to hike to the peak, a mere 3,000 feet above sea level.  Howler monkeys, vultures, parrots are but a few of the creatures that provide the soundtrack for our hike estimated to take us about 6 hours (although there was one very determined hiker that took 11 hours just to reach the peak - just goes to show the dedication and love the guides have for their jobs and this island.  I must admit I am beginning to fantasize about the possibilities of staying on to teach yoga here...)

The hike is broken down into 6 stages or legs.  Thankfully Bobby gave me a heads up that the first 20 minutes are the worst and are where most people turn back.  He was right!   I found myself using a silent Japa meditation, (regarded as one of most effective ways of meditation, Japa Meditation helps sooth the mind and clears away the numerous impinging problems and worries that cloud it from time to time - such as the exhaustion that leaves one limbs dumbfounded as to how to follow the signals to continue putting one foot in front of the other).  As we progress I am sweating to the point I could just have easily walked through a car wash - you could even have rung out my bikini!   Passing through changes in the air (one can literally feel the cooler moist air as we ascend), bamboo forests, more typical rainforest, we finally reach a huge boulder - we will be using the last bit of energy and all four limbs to scramble to the peak from which one really feels as if they are on top of the world...Bobby is right the treacherous start is worth this view...

6 am Mornings

6:05am:  The sun is up, 'fatty' (real name 'Bua' - yes another one of my mother's creative inventions, like the one I feel victim to at birth), one of our two yellow labs is barking at his shadow.  For some reason this morning I am transported back to The Island - maybe it is the brazilian coffee I am drinking, but more probably it is the perfect stillness morning.

6:05am:  Two hours after being scared awake by my yoga teacher's 2 1/2 year old's sleeping pleas for soup of all things, I am awake and now trying to rouse Kim in time to teach one of two daily yoga classes.  Kim, Cece - the sleep-talking mini yogi, and I are in Ilha Grande for the week.  Kim is running a yoga retreat for mixed level yogis from around the globe.  Women from Germany, England, Ireland, and the US, to name a few, have all converged in an area known as the "Caribbean of Brazil".   An archipelago of 350 islands, it is home to lush Atlantic Rainforest, waterfalls, beaches, caves, rivers - an outdoor lover's dream.  Going to the island was like crossing some imaginary border that once you cross you could leave behind your identity and all that defines you in exchange for a short amount of time in which you can be anyone you please.

I am amazed not just by the diverse geography of this group but also by the diverse personalities within the group. 
- Danielle a lovely albeit pasty (self described) Brit who had thought it a good idea to sample Rio's nightlife before detoxing for a week, crawled into her hostel at 5:30am after looking at all the writhing bodies, moving to the beats of a Brazilian Baile Funky.  First stop for Danielle - Bob's Burger, the last junk food she will see for a week!
- Kristina a childhood friend of Kim's who seemed quite skeptical of the idea of spending a week in a  tropical paradise, known for it's rich foods and Caipirinhas, eating a diet prescribed to help one detox while spending the days doing a mix of hiking, kayaking and yoga.
- The mother-daughter pair from Ireland.  I had to smile as Bobby the local guide noted that the daughter Emily, looked like a still frame out of an Audrey Hepburn movie on our boat trip to the island.  "I wonder if you can still look like that tomorrow?" he mutters with a knowing smile.
- The Morph, a born again smoker, but quick to mention that before anyone judge her, it is the only thing keeping the mozzies at bay...DEET surely is worse and so much less fun!  Morph is probably one of the funniest ladies I have had the pleasure to meet and one that I knew was going to become the life of the party...even if we were to be deprived of our nightly cocktails.
- The German gals, friends from school, doesn't every vacation have a pair?!  (Ladies I say that with love ;-)

These are but a few of the cast of characters that would make up the fabric of my week...

To be continued....

La Loca

Half Brazilian, half German, my roommate is a formidable force.  Incredibly driven, immensely passionate about her country (Brazil), Karin is not the typical 23 year old.

Literally a chance encounter led to us being roommates for the better part of two months and despite the fact that we are incredibly different, we work.  I am going to miss this Carioca and her wild ways as well as her unwavering support of me and my crazy ideas.  A few of the memories I will take with me ...

1.  Karin draped across my bed, demanding I stay awake, as she has a GRRRRREAT idea for my book.  Which will be made into a movie someday starring Karin as myself (she loves to impersonate my accent).
2.  Maple Syrup - this child had never had maple syrup so I arranged for the real deal to be shipped to Brazil as a surprise.  But the real surprise was when she insisted on having MAPLE SOUP, as putting in on pancakes or french toast is a waste and prevents you from tasting the tree.
3. The morning I awoke to find Karin sitting in the kitchen scribbling a note furiously.  I thought maybe she had woken up with a new idea for a play (she is studying to be an actress).  But when she finally came up for air, she exclaimed that the *&(**@$# neighbors upstairs had woken her up again (they have a history of noisy amorous moments, walking in high heels at all hours of the night, a baby that cries around the clock and a yappy dog).  She was writing a note to slip under their door telling them about themselves.  Now if you know anything about the stereotypical passion of Brazilians, and/or German 'rage', then you can imagine the state my poor roommate was in being both German and Brazilian.  I listened attentively, offering the most compassionate sympathy as well as a few possible solutions, all of which had already tried.
My ultra calm and supportive demeanor quickly morphed into a fit hysteria that had me writhing around on the floor as she exclaimed  "even the ear tampons" had not worked!
4. Walking through the center of town, (akin to any financial district of a main city), and a gust of wind causes Karin's dress to fly up above her head - think Marilyn Monroe. Her response,  "Thank God my ass is beautiful!" before continuing to saunter down the street.
5. "You, you, you are a walking contradiction Townley!!  You are soo peaceful but then you do something crazy -you are like Yoda, saving all your energy for the fight".  Have to admit Yoda's a new one for me!
6. Don't worry I am bringing the Baby Butt Tissues (baby wipes to the rest of us :-).
7. You have never seen anyone get as excited as Karin when it comes to desert.  How amazing it is to live with someone else that likes to eat!!
8. Although occasionally annoying (Karin that's meant in a loving way!), Karin can literally get through an entire day communicating with nothing but song lines.
9. She tells me not to be scared of the bat that occasionally visits the apartment at night but that "won't eat me"...yet she screams bloody murder when one swoops low on the way home one night.
10. You have to love someone that cleans the house in her underwear while belting out show toons!


Thank you Karin for your hospitality and many great memories xo

-

Remember to Remember

  “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 

                                                                          - Mark Twain

My maternal grandmother has lived a very full and somewhat unusual life for someone born in her day.  Those of you that know her can attest to that!  Be it eating two dinners a night so that she never had to decline a date, strutting her stuff on the catwalks of Paris, feigning a heart attack in a busy intersection in order to get us a ride home, loosing her nuclear family by the age of 17, or running a carpet business in Nepal, she always said she had few if any regrets.  At 83 yrs young how many people can truly say that? (Obviously, the truth of that statement is only something she can attest to but I am pretty convinced she means it).  Over the years I have found myself often thinking about what it would take to live a life with no regrets. 

 
Being someone that often seems to say goodbye more than hello; has a ridiculously complicated and painful relationship with family; fell madly in love with someone that didn't feel the same; sacrificed many things in order to help others - one might think I would have a number of regrets but surprisingly I have very few.  Heck, I don't even regret my prison tat!

Each dark moment, each moment of joy, jealousy, grief etc, has taught me something.  If I had any advice to give it would be to love with an undefended heart, tell the people you love you love them often, be the first to try and make amends in a fight, stand up for what you believe in and speak your truth honestly, take risks and put your pride aside and allow yourself to be vulnerable.  Better to say I love you and have it fall on deaf ears than to miss the chance to say it.

We often 'forget' that there are no guarantees in life.  We live arrogantly like we have all the time in the world,  that is until something happens to show us differently.  I got in touch with an old friend today to wish him a happy birthday only to find out that his youngest son had fallen into a swimming pool and drowned a month ago.  I cannot even begin to imagine the pain and grief that he must be going through.  In a split second his life was changed forever...let this be an invitation to remember to let the moments matter.  

How often do we get lost in the 'if only' mindset? If only I do X, I will feel better.  If only I was more this or less that.   If only I was not alone etc.  These are but a few examples of things that can preoccupy our minds, causing us to loose sight of the present moment, and the fact that each moment already contains everything.  I wonder where you would want to place your attention if you knew you only had a few minutes to live?  What would matter then?

Six months ago I attended a trauma-sensitive yoga teacher training which is relevant as trauma survivors often loose the ability to remain in the present.  Yoga is proving to be increasingly useful in helping survivors stay with the present.  Anyway, when the training was over, I approached one of the leading experts on psychological traumas and asked him to sign a copy of his book.  Without hesitation, he grabbed the book and in his best doctor penmanship, he scribbled the following: 

"Townley -  Remember to Remember..."

I didn't understand what he meant.  Until Now...

Belonging

Socrates said "the unexamined life is not worth living" ... so I had a thought, (you may not want to hold your breath as it is a little long winded) ;-)

I came to Brazil with a Plan.  A metaphorical map of how my time would be spent here.  One part of the plan was to write more frequently.  So far that has yet to happen.  Another part of the plan was to be more present in the everyday moments and not get lost in future planning which for me, causes a little bit of anxiety (but get this – apparently this happens to other people too.  Who knew!)

I have been in Rio for just shy of a month now and I don’t remember a time in my life when I have been so at peace.  I have been waiting for the inevitable shoe to drop.  To wake up feeling the familiar panic constraining my chest, much the same way you would feel if you woke up to Pavarotti straddling, box of Dunkin D’s in one hand and your panic button in the other! Yet, it hasn’t happened.  And I am genuinely and honestly perplexed.

Maybe it is that my life is simple here, or at least I have made it so.  I have no phone; I watch little to no TV, I check the news online, maybe once a week (more frequently if something imminent like the quake in Chile is brought to my attention).  I eat simple foods (one of the things I love most about Latin America is that you really have to go out of your way to try and find pre-made food), choosing to cook more often than not.  I delight in being in another culture, and for the first time feeling no pressure to have to become part of it.  There is no one invested in my becoming fluent in a specified amount of time, and I don’t need to figure out how everything works...unless, I want to.   Oh how I envied my friend Ian when he came to visit me in Buenos Aires.  He steadfastly refused to order anything in Spanish (even when I would tell him what to say), comfortable in his gringo vacationer self.  He would repeat “A coke please” until the waiter either got it or got frustrated and left.  Now, if I communicate with someone, it is because I want to and that makes it so simple yet somehow intimate…

The power of a genuine smile is indescribable.  You lock eyes with another human being and the feeling of connection is almost palpable.  Your face, or there’s, begins to register the hints of a smile or gesture of acknowledgement.  You intuitively know that you belong and are welcome exactly as you are.  It is this primal and universal need to belong that I believe makes us human.  I also believe it is at the root of most of our suffering.  Take a moment to imagine a time when you felt really sad, distressed or angry.  What is it you were really feeling or yearning for? 

I can remember moving to Argentina, which I did literally from one day to the next. (Now that doesn’t surprise you, does it?) I adore the Argentines for many reasons but one in particular is their penchant for making a holiday for EVERYTHING.  Dia del Amigos, literally meaning Day of friends, and I woke up homesick…Wondering what I had done in deciding to move to a country where I knew no one, couldn’t speak the language and had not visited since I was about 8! If things weren’t difficult enough, the entire country was out celebrating (and in my mind rubbing in my face) the very thing I was homesick for – the connection to the people in my life.  My friends!

Refusing to let this get the better of me, I decided to book myself a massage.  I needed something to do to fill the time but didn’t want to have to talk to anyone, or be somewhere that reminded me of how far away I was.  Apparently my subconscious was more clued in than I was for what I really had booked was an hour of human contact.  I needed to be touched both literally but also metaphorically – I needed to feel the sense of belonging that comes from the shared subjective experience of sameness.  What do I mean?

Think of your very first kiss.  Finding out that the teacher/boss/person that you look up to, also has doubts and moments of insecurity.  The feeling of shame when you put yourself out there for love and realize that it is not reciprocated.  Falling in love with your soul mate.  Do you remember the sense of connectedness or belonging you felt when you shared an experience with another person whom felt the same? Or the power of someone sitting next to you as you cry, giving you ‘permission’ to stay with your feelings…

Our suffering arises from our belief that we do not belong or that we are separate.  Noticing these beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves about not belonging, is the first step on the path of connectedness.  As a mini experiment, slow down and really try to feel the inner sensation next time you receive a genuine smile from a stranger.  What’s are the stories that we tell ourselves about our not belonging? That life is not turning out the way we planned? What else do we need before we can really be happy?  I mentioned that I had a plan when I came to Brazil but it was my clinging to this plan that was keeping me stuck and preventing me from experiencing the present moment. 

When we live in the present, moment-by-moment it is easier (not easy) to remain aware of our connectedness.  We don’t get lost in the material-isms, the unimportant details because we see that we have all that we need already.  This moment has it all and that is something I never really understood until I came here.  It took leaving everything behind in order to find what was always here – oh the irony.  Can you hear Alanis Morissette? 

“You live. You learn.”

“It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...”

I guess for me Brazil has allowed me to stop clinging to my plan of the way things should be.  And in letting go of the plan, I realized that there is no right way for things to be – there is beauty in living each day for what that day has to offer.  And this is not just true for the ‘good days’.  A very wise friend reminded me why yoga teachers are so lucky.  If we are having a bad day, a very emotional day, we don’t have to ‘pull it together’ before showing up to teach a class.  We just need to show up and tell the truth.  The only authentic way to connect is to connect to what’s real in the body, in this moment.  That is why I love going to a yoga class – it provides a safe space to feel whatever it is you are feeling, in the company of others, yet like my being in Brazil you do not need to communicate unless you want to.

Now this was more than just a thought, and there is soo much more that can be said but for now I will leave you with this as I need to go for a run …

Brazilian Top 10 List

1. I have been in Rio now for two weeks, and I still find it strange when people pass by and say "Oi".  For me "oi" is Cockney slang for 'hey' (as in, 'Oi, ya bloody wanker!') and not the informal, and well meant 'hi' used by Cariocas here. 

2. It is perfectly acceptable to wear Jesus-sandals and a speedo to walk around town.

3.  Agua de Coco!!!

4. There is really is the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin, so much so that no matter what your size or shape it is recommended if not mandatory to seek out and wear the smallest bikinis one can find.  Think G-string!

5. The legendary Globo biscuits, or “Biscoitos Globo”, as they are called in Portuguese. To make sure you have the right idea of the importance of these biscuits, not eating them when visiting Rio is similar to going to Mykonos and not trying the Greek gyro.
I was not entirely sure how I felt about these 'air donuts' made from manioc flour - it is definitely an acquired taste and texture but the longer I am here the more addictive they become.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are assaulted by Globo vendors everywhere in Rio, from the beach to the middle of the highway in the midst of a downpour!

6. Brazilians love of everything colorful - kind of reminds me of living in Bermuda.  There is no such thing as a muted color and forget the slimming black pieces you have from your NYC wardrobe as they are not encouraged unless that is the basis for your color explosion for the day ;-)

7.  Like Argentina there are beautiful dogs all over the place but unlike Argentina, Cariocas actually know what curbing your dog means!  Although my sister didn't know what it meant so maybe that was a bad example...let's just say in Rio you can actually look ahead of you while you walk whereas in Argentina one quickly acquires the skill of walking with your eyes scanning in front of your feet while managing to not walk into anything.

8. The bus system!  You take a bus say #570 to Gavea.  #570 has a predetermined route just like buses in most other countries but here they 'can' veer off course at the driver's discretion.  Moreover you actually have to white knuckle anything you can reach so that when the bus takes a corner of unexpected bump you do not fly up and hit your head on the ceiling!

9. Botecos (very casual open sided bars all over Rio and in some of the most random places) showing a TV novelas and/or soccer match will cause equal passionate cries if the channel is switched while a Carioca is watching!  And when I saw watching - I am including the informal gatherings of people that hang around outside the Botecos to watch free tv or take in the scene.

10.  Speaking of watering holes - one cannot forget the Caipirinha - my one Brazilian vice...so far (Sorry Kim but had to try the real thing while I was here ;-)

10 + 1.  I would have to add Capoeira after watching Cece (Kimberly's 2 1/2 year old practicing yesterday)!!

To teach or not to teach?

Was it almost a year ago that I was sitting in northern Thailand, defending all the reasons as to why I was taking a yoga teacher training with no intention of ever teaching?  Out of 21 students, 2 of us bonded over the shared desire to deepen our own practices without actually teaching a class ourselves.  There was some solace in knowing that there was an end in sight to the practice teaches that were a required part of our training.  There was no way that I was going to be putting myself through that anxiety, by choice, on a daily basis!  

Sara and Kimberly, the women holding the training, sat motionlessly, holding my gaze while trying to restrain the hint of smiles that were slowly forming on their faces.  Almost in unison they chimed "I bet you will change your mind by the end of the training"... (I have to say, in that moment, my internal voice was like "um, yeah, okay - sure, I'll teach, just as soon as I get over that small physiological reaction (brought on by standing up in front of a group to do anything) that results in my either passing out (usually while giving myself a nice concussion in the process), or worse yet, throwing up on the ankles and shoes of my eager audience (and yes, yes I have been THAT girl).

Little did I know that today was going to be the day that Kimberly would pass on that proverbial baton.  I showed up at her studio at 9am ready for what I thought was going to be our one-on-one practice.  As she opened the door, there was this slightly dazed but smiling face staring back at me.  
"Hey can you look at my head? I think I might need stitches.  Are you squeamish?"  Disguised by her thick red hair, was an open gash that definitely looked like it needed stitches and much to Kimberly's annoyance, I told her that no, it was not okay to wait a few hours before going to the hospital as once the wound begins to heal it can't really be stitched.  Had I known then that my concern for her scalp would be the ticket to my first class I might have kept my mouth closed!  

Within 5 minutes of my arriving, Kimberly deciding that yes she did in fact have to be stitched up, students arrived ready for Kimberly's class (And for those of you that have not had the opportunity to practice with Kim - I agree with Sara 100% when she introduced Kimberly at our teacher training saying that "she might just be one of the best yoga teachers alive and practicing today").  "Well I guess this is going to be your chance - do you have a sequence you want to teach or would you like me to leave you with something?"  I will be honest when I say that I don't think what she said even registered (for those of you that know the me, I can't drink coffee before practicing in the morning so you can imagine how good I am in the mornings!)  Within another two minutes, Kimberly reminded me how to modify a few of the poses for pregnancy (one of the women was 35 or 36 weeks in - EEEEEEK) and said "don't worry if there is any trouble being understood, you can always switch to Spanish as one of the girls is Cuban!" - Thanks Kim, what a relief :-)

 And with that Cinderella left the ball...

To my delight I did not injure anyone - or more importantly faint or loose my breakfast, I actually think that the 'bump' which was moving A LOT on its own accord kept me adequately freaked out and distracted, so that nerves were not even really an issue.  Picture a pregnant woman lying on a pillow supporting her back and head with her eyes closed, while the baby moves across her abdomen so that you can see its form 'resting' fully along her left side - before taking a swim around to the other side...it was really like watching a movie about demonic possession but with a beautiful miracle replacing the demon part ;-)

I can honestly say I have no idea how the class was perceived by the students although I am sure I will get feedback through Kim (my experience with prenatal yoga to date is pretty much summed up in the above photo).  But I guess more to the point - Kimberly and Sara were right when they lovingly suggested that maybe I would change my mind about teaching.  As a wise female yogi once said to me - its all about balancing what you want with what you need - today I clearly needed to be reminded of what I needed! (Now if they could just figure out the rest of my life that would be perfect!)


P.s. Just goes to show the dedication of the teachers I have been lucky enough to study with.  If I didn't know better I would actually think Kimberly had planned this all exactly as it happened ;-)  I can't thank the teachers I have had to date, and the yogis/friends, enough for all the love and support you have given to me- wanted or unwanted.  So I am going to borrow my friend Larkin's words as I don't think I could have said it better myself:

"I have adopted the belief that our 'calling' is simply the string of choices we chose to make - those that have the courage to make the bold choice to follow their true feelings are those we say have found their 'calling'.... I further believe that you cannot make a bad choice only one that is less true to yourself".   

Studying in Thailand, traveling in Vietnam and Cambodia, Studying in NYC and now studying and teaching in Brazil - who would have thought...these have by far been the best choices of my life to date...

Sara and Kimberly are joining forces again to teach the first ever women's teacher training in Boulder CO - if you have the chance I would highly recommend this training!!! http://www.thewayofthehappywoman.com/womensyogateachertraining/

 

 

You've Been Matched!

I was so excited to receive an email with the subject 'you've been matched'.  About 6 weeks after applying to sponsor a sister through Women for Women International I received the news that Alice Sifa Fumbo would be my sister.  Alice is from the DRC, is 21 and is married.  I believe she also has children but am not sure to date.

I wanted to thank all of you that supported my in my 30th birthday celebrations - odd as they may have appeared.  And I want to send a special thank you to those of you that also sponsored a woman.  I have not reached my goal to have 30 women sponsored ... yet, BUT 15 women are now better off thanks to you and you know who you are :-)

All my love and so much more x

P.s I would love to hear about your sisters!
Women for Women International: http://www.womenforwomen.org/sponsor-a-woman/sponsor-a-woman.php

Hello from Rio

So it has been awhile since my last posting and much has changed.  Including surprise, surprise, my location.   I woke up this morning with a thin layer of moisture covering my entire body, molding my hair to my head like one of those condom-like hats one has to wear for a school swim meet.  Hmmmmmmmm good morning Rio! 7am and the temperature is already climbing for the day....

Rio is an amazing mix of colors, races, cultures, tastes and sounds.

Unfortunately the clouds are covering Corcavado (the Jesus Statue you see in most images of Brazil) on the highest peak in the distance to the left.  The buildings in the foreground are of the roofs of a 'favela' (shanty town) which contrast so drastically the high-end mall we went to to take this photo!

Above is the view from a private yoga and pilates studio in Laranjeiras, an area in Rio.  This photo does not do the view justice as the studio sits midway up a mountain covered in vegetation that gives one the impression you are in the middle of the Amazon, save for the houses that look like they have been transported from Andalusia Spain.

At another yoga class I went to, we were greeted by some very inquisitive new friends - you thought I had a hard time concentrating when practicing in an aquarium - try a real life jungle!!

I will write more but for now I just wanted to get back online and send my love to all of you from Rio!